The Betrayal of Bad Behavior
We feed them, buy them toys and treats, pay for training and….
He’s still jumping on the counter
She doesn’t cuddle on the couch with me
He’s too much for my kids and just doesn’t listen…
…and so on. It can be stressful, frustrating and even hurtful despite the fact that dogs don’t understand that we work hard to provide for them, and that most dogs aren’t the calm Rockwell dog peacefully lying next to his owner in front of the fireplace. Our world is complicated for dogs, and each dog has his own personality, challenges and needs.
High energy dogs may jump on counters, especially when bored. Some breeds/breed types aren’t cuddlers, just like some people, and some dogs are excited when anyone enters the room.
For me, it was a young dog, named Dazzle, who guarded his food bowl…at 8 months old. I was shocked and then angry and then hurt. I had done everything right and ended up with a Resource Guarder. In the end, he would start my journey into canine behavior and give me first-hand understanding and empathy with clients struggling with behavioral issues.
So how do you get the dog you wanted? You may not exactly get the dog you want, but a good place to start is:
Acknowledge the dog that you have right now- that he’s more high-energy than you thought, that she can’t yet be left alone without being destructive, that he can’t calmly greet a family member no less a visiting guest
Assess your family needs, not your wants. Do you have small children in and out of the house? Do you keep a garden that you don’t want constantly dug up? Management your dog around kids and managing access to problem spaces can go a long way.
Hire a Certified Professional Dog Trainer to address your specific needs and come up with a management strategy and training/enrichment plan that your entire family can live with and your dog will thrive with
And, in the meantime:
Don’t take any of this personally. Chances are that you didn’t do anything to “cause” the behavior you don’t want, as behavior is usually a product of BOTH Nature and Nurture. Plus, taking it personally doesn’t change or improve the situation.
Look at what you LOVE about the dog in front of you—does he follow you everywhere? My Resource Guarder, Dazzle did? Does she patiently wait at the front door while you bring packages in?
Start to think about where you can compromise:
Have the entire family pitch in to provide more enrichment for your dog, which can help diffuse a number of behavioral issues that are born out of boredom and excess energy. Think about snuffle mats, scatter feeding meals or other sniffing games, which help most dogs burn off excess energy.
Plan some time to spend with your dog in a way she prefers. Would she love an agility class or learning to swim with you? I did both and Rally with Dazzle and I do think that engagement helped improve his overall confidence. There has never been a greater availability of dog sports training and you don’t have to compete to give your dog some great, healthy, energy-burning 1:1 time.
Help your children teach the dog some tricks to use in your daily routine to keep your dog engaged in positive ways throughout the day—think about Sit and Give Me Your Paw for putting a leash on and Touching your Hand when you come home to avoid repeated jumping.
Most importantly, don’t give up. Reach out to a Certified Professional Dog Trainer for training advice that will work for you. You can find a directory at https://www.ccpdt.org/.